lizelle-lewis Not brotherly love, not the love you feel for your children or your parents, but true love? The kind of love that keeps two souls connected until the end of their lives? As I sit here looking back on my life, I’ve noticed my definition of love has changed. In some ways it has changed slightly. In others, drastically. I won’t begin to assume I have the perfect answer. I have no psychology degrees that qualify me to define true love for you. What I have is a lifetime of both happiness and pain that have defined for me, today, what true love is.

True Love Is Magical, Not Magic
Sure, true love comes with moments you feel you can defy gravity. You and that special person can simply be near each other and everything is perfect. Holding hands in a storm. Smiling each time they cross your mind. Looking forward to the next time you are in each other’s arms. True love is magical, but it’s not magic. Life continually moves on. Just as bad times guarantee good will follow, good times can also be followed by bad. True love does not keep this from happening. It’s not a magic spell that ensures happiness ever after. If held onto though, it will weather all storms with you. When bad times come, true love hasn’t let you down or lost it’s magic. It’s still there, riding the rollercoaster with you.

True Love Is Faith
To be open to true love is to truly be vulnerable. It is allowing yourself that quiet ease that comes with knowing your partner honors and cares for you. It is realizing everything you do has someone’s heart attached. We can worry about the next person that comes along. We can be on guard looking for the one that comes to steal that person away. For men, this is almost ingrained into our psyche. We must defend our love and always be on guard. For those who have been hurt, it comes even harder. Step back and see this; you never lost someone because you weren’t running off everyone else, although you could definitely lose someone by refusing to have faith in them. To grow from love to true love, let go and know that if it is true love, every day they choose you.

True Love Is Reciprocal
True love comes in pairs. The same love and affection shown to you should be what you give back. It is definitely possible to love someone more than they love you. Undoubtedly, someone has loved you more than you love them. True love is both given and received. It is a mutual admiration and bind that both of you have agreed to let flourish. It may not happen overnight. It may not develop in both parties at the same time, but when true love is present, it is gloriously mutual.

True Love Is Accepting
True love accepts flaws and weaknesses. You know everything about that person and welcome it all. They have seen all your pieces and want to be a part of your life. Friends, family, those that mean the most to each of you are all welcome in this equation. Everyone they hold close has been a part of making them the person you adore. Sure you can love someone without loving those important to them, but true love accepts. True love welcomes any healthy relationship that has made you who you are today. Your children could just as well be theirs. Their friends matter just as much as yours.

True Love Is A Choice
Love and passion. Both can come out of nowhere. You can find yourself wrapped up in someone that seems like they where made specifically for you. What comes next, is a choice. Both people choose to devote themselves to the other. Both people choose to be there through good and bad. The fact is, there are many people you could fall in love with. The plain truth is, people can choose to go their separate ways and still lead a fulfilling and happy life. True love is not being incapable of going on without someone, it’s choosing to go on with them, regardless. We go through lives living, experiencing and building. True love is looking back, holding your lovers hand and appreciateing you chose to do all that together. I’m no seer, no enlightened soul. All I know is that, to me, these things define true love. Here’s to hoping we all allow ourselves the chance to experience it.~

Now u have to choose

(Dankie Lizelle Lewis, vir die deel of dit jou eie of ‘n ander sin is, dankie)

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